Poet Penticton
Penticton, BC

This guy thought he had the best tattoo in the world,
until he went to prison

Nose knows inferiority complex

I never did like my face profile. I inherited my father’s gigantic attention getter nose. Every time I enter a
traffic intersection I turn my nose away from the car’s occupants glare, otherwise, they’d see this massive
walking nose before them.

Embarrassment in the ladies room

One day while working at Woolco department store, I headed to the ladies room. While there an executive employee came out of the stall and headed out the door trailing a long thread of toilet paper behind her. The back of her dress was sloppily tucked into the back of her pantyhose exposing her behind, revealing her neglect. Immediately, I felt compelled to tell her before she entered onto the business floor. I could have remained silent, but instead I saved this woman further embarrassment. She thanked me profusely and learned a lesson that day. The moral of this story is, that if you leave a paper trail, the evidence is left behind!

Perm Special

One day my friends and I were shopping in West Edmonton mall, we spotted a hair salon with a neon sign advertising their perm special. We noticed a macho looking young man hanging around the doorway, as we approached him, I heard myself blurt out how much is your sperm special? Four long seconds of insufferable silence followed, than, someone roared with laughter, ending the embarrassment.

100 % Responsible

A marriage Councilor asks his client, what percentage of responsibility do you accept for your marriage falling apart? Are you 30% responsible? The guy answers lower Are you 20% responsible? Lower Are you 10% responsible? Yeah, something like that. The marriage councilor says, well guess what asshole, you’re 100% responsible for that 10% so fix it!

Sleeping on the Job

I walked along the top of government St. where across the road I witnessed the most interesting thing which captivated my attention immediately. I saw an older bearded grubby looking man pushing a grocery cart, but, nothing unusual about that, until I tell you what was on top of the grocery cart. A three-seated couch situated long-wise was perched atop the grocery cart, yet, still the best part of all is a man was sleeping on the couch. Being a published writer without a camera, I heard myself blurt out, now that’s what you call sleeping on the job! I called the Penticton Herald to tell them what I just witnessed and Paul said to me, Donna please tell me you had a camera.

I Looked under the Couch Cushions

I looked under the couch cushions and got more than I bargained for. I spotted a pile of silver coins while I vacuumed crumbs and dust particles. I scooped the change and put into my pocket. After, the cleaning, I counted my find and discovered $7.64, enough to buy something to eat. The moral of this story is start cleaning because sometimes a little dirt pays.