HEADED FOR TROUBLE
This guy says to his girlfriend while hiking through the woods, “cover your head honey, there’re woodpeckers above”
“Are you calling me a wooden head?” she replied.
“No honey, it just reminds me of something I heard once, it goes like this, birdie, birdie, in the sky, dropped a white spot in my eye, gosh, I’m glad that cows don’t fly”
“Hey man, you got a banana in your ear”
“I SAY YOU GOT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR”
“Sorry man, I can’t hear you, I got a banana in my ear”
MILE IN THE SMILES
A smile travels many a mile, notice there’s a mile in smiles?
A marriage councilor speaks with his client asking him, “Do you think you’re 50% responsible for your wedding woes?”
The guy answers “lower”
The councilor asks, “Do you think you’re 30% responsible?
The guy answers “lower”
The councilor asks, “Do you think you’re 10% responsible?
The guy answers, “yeah, something like that”
The councilor says, “Well, guess what asshole, you’re 100% responsible for that 10%, so fix it!
“Never answer an angry word with an angry word it’s the second that makes the quarrel” Steven Grellet
The Contemplations of Foresta Gump is a title and column given to me by Dan Rowden-- one of the three founders of theabsolute.net--a genius forum in Australia which I became a member of in 2003. I earned this honor after I submitted a poem called, YOU’RE MEANT TO BE, under my pen name Foresta Gump.
I am the original Foresta Gump, online dates will prove this. The other Foresta Gump is online in Gloucester England and came in view a year after I did.
My pen name Foresta Gump first came to mind when I became a member at The Canadian Federation of Poets in 2002, where I learned to become a published writer under the encouraging influence of Best Seller Tracy Repchuk. I recall thinking about something Forest Gump said, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get” then it occurred to me that I could become the first female version of Forest Gump. The name was perfect for creating Foresta Gump to be as brilliant as Forest Gump, so I set out on a mission to create her by submitting posts daily at the forum and becoming an author and eventually the Forum Manager with much writing experience.
I wrote a book—my first attempt and used the title The Contemplations of Foresta Gump, but, I lost four years of writing to Lulu.com. Once inside their system my work was lost. I decided to move onward and rewrite it by using what I had with added content.
Foresta Gump is world-wide known on-the-internet; many people have published her for her wit, knowledge, intelligence, influence, humor and expertise writing ability.
I defeat the wits of the witless
and battle the wits
of the wit but the wittiest
of all I'll join and sit
and decide which wit is the wit
Boredom can be good
it acts as the initiator
There are bugs in my cereal!
Four year old chubby cheek Jason was staring down into his cereal bowl when auntie Dot asked him, “Jason why aren't you eating your cereal”
Jason looked up with his big blue eyes and responded with, “Look, auntie Dot there are bugs in my cereal”
Auntie Dot said, “No Jason, that's not bugs, that's the cereal”
Jason replied, than, why are they swimming”
This is a true story of when my deceased son Jason was only 4 years old. He was a gifted child and died at the tender age of 23. More than 400 people showed up at his funeral, they came from the States as well as Canada to pay their final respects to Jason
My Editor Tracy Repchuk is Genius!
by Foresta Gump » Fri Oct 14, 2005 3:46 am
Below are the awesome inspiring and influential words of Tracy Repchuk, someone whose words will leave an imprint on your mind for years to come. Someone who will lead you in the direction you need to go for your own goodness and benefit.
My Editor Tracy Repchuk is a genius I'm sure She is ultimately a positive entity like me Steering people down the good and righteous path Leading them to success She is a divine person Everyone loves this lady Tracy recognized my ability because of her own She is one successful woman If success is measured through the eyes of her children Then she wins the title Best Mom Ever! And if she weren‟t younger than me I'd call her Mom If there were anyone I would ever really listen to, it would be Tracy, she's earned my dedication of her. My praising of Tracy is genuine and accurate.
She is a clone to God!
Tracy Repchuk is best seller of 31 Days to a Marketers Millionaire Miracle and author of The Poetry of Business. She has more degrees than a thermometer, in other words she has many credentials, including CEO position in her business.
I never officially met Tracy face to face however we‟ve continued to keep in contact throughout the years, via email. I met her first at Canadian Federation of Poets, it was her forum. I wrote extensively there under the original pen name Foresta Gump. After, several years, I became forum manager.
From a friendship point-of-view, in 2008, Tracy shared with me that she tested two levels above MENSA, which makes her smarter than the top 2% of the smartest people in the world. To learn this didn‟t surprise me, the poem above proves my insight of Tracy‟s true nature.
When I look at what Tracy has achieved in the last few years I‟ve had the pleasure of knowing her, I feel so fortunate to have been attracted by her magnetism, to be influenced to follow in her footsteps. Tracy has shown to me many aspects of a successful and valuable person. And Albert Einstein sums it up the best in his awesome quote, “Try not to become a man of success, but rather one of value” Tracy has proven both to society, and measures „Best mom Ever‟ in her families eyes, and to her friends she‟s the best ever!
Tracy helped me immensely in the writing field to take my writing seriously. She encouraged me through extensive daily writing and never once tried to stifle my efforts, I learned to edit and perfect my work while Tracy patiently endured my writing frenzy. Tracy watched my growth she literally taught me how to write an article, then, published my work, giving me confidence and the opportunity to continue onward to becoming a paid professional writer today.
Who is logically older?
Subject A: Is 53 years young, beautiful, healthy, intelligent, no indication of monthly periods ceasing.
Subject B: Is 45 years old, beautiful, unhealthy, and menopausal for several years. Her periods have declined.
Question: If subject B has her last menstrual period today, which would end her life giving capability, would this make subject B logically older than subject A?